How to have a happy healthy sex life in isolation
The coronavirus pandemic has forced partners to be stuck together in a confined space 24/7. This situation can have two implications- expect a baby boom next year with condoms falling short in supply worldwide, or broken marriages due to a declined desire or inclination towards sex!
How to have a healthy sex life in isolation? -- This is a question of great concern for partners who are cooped up together. They are striving to maintain a healthy sex life amid the global pandemic. This is a dire situation as every aspect of our lives has been impacted, including our sex lives. Ensuring that you have a place to live, food to eat, and life basics are essential. However, we cannot negate the importance of sex in our lives.
A survey conducted by OnBuy on couples between the age of 18-45 years, during coronavirus lockdown revealed the following statistics:
- Almost half the number of couples indicated that they had sex less frequently since lockdown began.
- 41% of women were having dissatisfying sex-lives.
- 60% of couples believed their sex-life needed more spice.
Is it normal to not be in the mood for sex lately?
Yes, it is fair to not be in the mood for sex lately. This Covid stuff is very stressful, and you have to remember that stress and sexuality don't go together. So.first of all, assess the reason for not being in the mood. We have to think about the desire for sexuality and the factors in terms of accelerators and brakes. Think about your sexuality right now. Assess why your brakes are on and what they are. They may be financial stress; maybe you are not feeling so great, perhaps you are worried about Covid or are concerned about your job or family. These are all brakes, and you have to think about the ones you can control and the ones you can put in a little box and put on a shelf for some time. You can then enjoy an erotic experience with your partner.
Then, it would be best if you also thought about the accelerators. Many activities will make you feel good - it can be a long hot shower, a cuddle with your partner, and a sexy chat with your partner, thus throwing yourself into an erotic situation.
It is essential to know what is going to feed your sexual desire and sexual self-esteem. For many couples staying cooped up in the same apartment, it is going to be difficult. Go for walks, get your time to yourself. Call a friend or some of your family members. Do things that make you feel happy, and you will feel more open to being intimate with your partner.
We have a few measures for you to help maintain a sexual connection with your partner and keep it sexy and spicy. You have to move out of your cozy, comfy zone to try new things to keep that flame kindled.
1. Communication is the mother of all sex-spicing
It is imperative for you to verbalize to your partner. It sets you in an intimate mood and the tone for a very sexy conversation that can lead to very satisfying sex. Three questions you could ask are:
- What do you like?
- What is your favorite position?
- What would you like to try the next time?
You need to speak up and ask for what you want. You can work your sexual encounter up to it, though, and start by using non-verbal cues such as positioning your partner's hand somewhere you like during sex.
2. Don't be scared of trying anal sex.
You don't need to be scared about when it comes to anal sex. It is just that it feels a little more intense. There are many nerve endings around the anus that we will feel very different from other types of sex that you have had. You want anal penetration to be pleasant, pleasurable, and satisfactory, so first of all, prepare yourself for it. Relax your body by having a really hot shower. Feel clean and feel good about anal sex. Don't try anal sex if you have a bit of a bad stomach, or if you had a stressful day; if you are stressed, your pelvic floor muscles and your and muscles will tighten up, and it is not going to be fun.
Ask your partner to feel around the anus with some lubricant on their hands. A good silicone-based lubricant is appropriate. Ask your sexual partner to slowly put their finger inside the back door because your fingers are rough.
Maybe, a small vibrator to put in the back-door would be a great idea! Just put the vibrator in slowly, and instead of moving it in and out. Press the arm button to feel the vibrations deep inside.
You can also use a penis with much lubrication around it.
Put on some music so that you can get into a bit of a sexy mood rather than focusing on the discomfort.
3. If sex becoming a bit repetitive, how can you spice things up?
This query relates to anyone at any stage in any relationship. Things are going to feel the same after a while. Think about it in this way- If your favorite food is pasta. You cook it and then eat it. You eat it the next day too. Every time you go for dinner, you have to eat pasta because you are comfortable with it. After some time, if you continue eating it so much, you will not desire it anymore. You will not be excited about it anymore, and it is not going to be your favorite food anymore. It is the same with sex. If we keep following the same thing every time, we will not be excited about it anymore. Well, you need to change the menu a little bit. Think of different kinds of cuisines, spices, you know.
So, how do we try different types of sexual cuisines? We expand our comfort zone a little bit. Maybe, we have never tried using toys? It is recommended to sit with your sexual partner. Get a clitoral stimulator and try out clitoral stimulation.
Try out different types of vibrators may be a male masturbators. It is all about exploring your options together.
You can try having sexual experiences in different locations if you are always having sex in the same place. Why don't you try having it in the shower instead or on the couch?
4. Think about being kinky
Another thing that we recommend is that you give a go to thinking about being a little bit kinkier. Try using a little bondage-set, or tying each other's hands with a scarf. Try exploring different erogenous zones. You can do nipple pay-biting, squeezing, scratching, using nipple clamps.
There is much likelihood that your partner is interested in kinky stuff, and she never discussed it with you. So, watching porn together or reading erotic stories can help both of you to ignite your sexual desire, making it easier to discuss new ideas.
When you feel that your partner is on the same flair as you, you can try the following:
5. Tie each other up.
You can add some kink to your sex life by using handcuffs or chains.
Carol Queen, Ph.D. and a staff sexologist at Good Vibrations, a sex toy empire, says,
"Women are encouraged to understand themselves as objects of desire, and through bondage and restraint, there's acting out of that."
6. Spanking can be a turn on.
You can commence with light spanking. If your partner laughs, consider the gesture as permission to continue.
7. A Frozen sex toy can heighten the sensations.
You can get a buttplug or a glass dildo and refrigerate it. You can draw the toy all over your partner's sensitive parts drawing it closer to the genitals. Then work it up to inserting the toy, and tantalize her senses to extreme pleasure and ecstasy.
8. Use blindfolds.
Sensory deprivation using blindfolds is another excellent way to help your partner be more submissive, thus relinquishing all the control.
Author of the Little Book of Kink, and We-Vibe sexpert Dr. Jess O'Reilly, quoted "As they watch your lips move and hear the muffled reverberations of your words, their hunger for your voice and your body will build to a whole new high."
9. Tickle and tease.
Naughty, kinky sex, or 'tickle play" can be an incredible turn-on. Teasing sensations inflicted by soft materials, such as feathers, can gear your partner into a pre-orgasm passion.
To sum it all up, happy, healthy sex life is not all about orgasms and intercourse. The stage for sexual intimacy can be set more appropriately by simple gestures such as cuddling, kissing, massaging, and touching.
Take the lead in your sexual encounters. Don't always take a back seat. Focus on your needs, and have a voice in your sexual relationship.
Schedule a date night with your partner. Sex is more about enjoying your partner's companionship. You can always pinpoint your desires and sexual fantasies over a glass of wine. Once you feel that you are all set for sexual proximity, you can work together with your spouse and get things going.
