(Dar)
The Lovert Arms was built by Beauregard Lovert back in 1941. The 3-story walk-up was originally meant for single women working for the war effort in Old Beau’s factories. It was a respectable establishment, with the purity of the young women guarded by a housemother, Old Beau’s spinster sister, Even Older Selena.
That’s the official story. In reality, more than a few soldiers on leave snuck past Selena’s watchful eye and got lucky in the rooms upstairs.
Back in ’54, Hurricane Hazel blew the ‘t’ clear off the sign out front, so everyone started calling it The Lover’s Arms. Somewhere along the line, an apostrophe was added to the sign, to make it official.
It’s a fitting name. I’ve seen a lot of tenants move in and out, a lot of walls get knocked down or put up, and a lot of mattresses thrown out. Aside from the rather impressive curved stairway in the lobby, there’s only one thing about The Lover’s Arms that hasn’t changed – the sex!
Could be the way Old Beau designed the building, or maybe there’s something in the water, but romance and sex have always been plentiful at The Lover’s Arms.
I’m Dar, apartment 201. I’ve lived here since I was a student, back in nineteen-never-you-mind-what-year. (Hey, a lady is allowed to be coy about her age!) Thanks to a lawyer boyfriend – can’t remember his name, but I’ll never forget his talented tongue – I have a killer lease. Old Beau didn’t quite realize when he signed on the dotted line that he would never be able to kick me out, and neither would his son.
I was actually considering a move to an apartment with more reliable hot water and less leaking from the rain when the newest Lovert inherited The Lover’s Arms. Young Beau is Old Beau’s great-nephew, a friendly fellow with lots of ambition and a great ass. (I may be old enough to be his mother, but I can still look!) Young Beau renovated The Lover’s Arms from top to bottom - new plumbing, new roof, and he even put a deck up there. So romantic.
I’m glad I stuck it out through all the dust and noise. This new bunch of tenants promises to live up to the reputation The Lover’s Arms so rightfully enjoys. They are hot, they are beautiful, and I bet every one of them has an account at lovedreamer.com.
There’s a professional couple in 103 – a lawyer and an accountant. I know, sounds boring, but they both look like male models, and what they get up in the evening is better than anything on TV. They’ve decorated the apartment very tastefully, but they haven’t been able to decide about window treatments. I hope they argue about blinds and curtains for years, especially if they keep using that toy they used last night!
Above them is 203, two more good-looking young men. The tall blond is dating an almost-as-tall blonde, who visits whenever the roommate works nights. Around the time the golden couple turn out the lights, the bartender brings home his latest conquest. What is it about these men not drawing the curtains? Not that I’m complaining.
Above the straight boys, three students have just moved into 303, two girls and a boy. I can’t wait to see what they get up to!
Annalee, the burlesque dancer, is in 304. No kidding, she does those sexy shows with all the fancy costumes and props. If I’m bored after dinner, I can sit and watch her limber up before she heads out to work, an activity for which she rarely bothers to fully dress. Last night she was wearing nothing but a chain bra and thong. Must have been doing a show at one of those kinky clubs.
Speaking of kinky, there’s a couple in one of the basement apartments who look like they know how to have fun. He’s a big, strapping personal trainer, and she’s tiny – barely comes up to his shoulder in high heels, but I recognize those heels she wears with her tight little business suits. And I’m pretty sure she’s the one who’s in charge in the bedroom!
Then there’s the couple in 102 next to me. Saffron and Conrad. They’re madly in love, as all newlyweds should be, but both have to travel for work, and they have the worst luck with scheduling. They’re hardly ever home at the same time. Still, they make the best of it. When they're reunited it’s always like the first time. Noisy! Sometimes when they’re alone it’s noisy too. I hear moaning and phone sex, and yesterday there was buzzing from a sex toy Saffron was using in the shower.
(Hey, I can't help it if their shower is right next to mine. And Beau may have a great ass but his soundproofing skills are not the best.) Again, I am not complaining.
I hear there’s a hot lesbian couple moving into 302, and I saw a gorgeous guy carrying some boxes up the stairs this morning. (I hope he wasn’t just a mover.)
Every new tenant is like a gift! If you hang around The Lover’s Arms you’ll see what I mean. There’s no telling what you’ll overhear or just happen to see in this place!
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