Posted by Rene on 1/8/2016 to
Sexual Wellness
Communicating with your partner is not only one of the most important things in a successful relationship, but also in a satisfying sex life. Couples who don't communicate how they are feeling about the sex they are having are more likely to cheat and become unhappy in the relationship. But communicating isn't always as easy as it sounds; it can be hard to tell your partner that you are unhappy with them sexually and, of course, you don't want to hurt their feelings. So what do you do?
Here is a list of some of the ways that you can let your partner know you're not happy, what you want, and what you can do to become happy.
So you don't like what your partner is doing in bed. Perhaps they aren't the best at oral and you want them to try something new but don't want to tell them they suck. Instead of saying that they are absolutely horrible and to get their mouth away from your genitalia, guide them to what you want. Instead of saying "stop", say "why don't you try this instead?".
Most importantly, tell them what you want. Most partners want to help you enjoy sex, so help them do it. Give constructive criticism instead of telling them off.
What if you want to try something a little different like BDSM or anal? How do you go about telling your partner that?
Well, there are a few ways to do this. You can make it into a game of trying new sex ideas.
For instance, one day you try bondage and the next you try something new, taking turns coming up with the ideas. Or, of course, you can sit your partner down and tell them flat out "Hey, I want to tie you up and spank you" and see how that goes. If you want to try something as serious as BDSM, I suggest you start out slow: suggest spanking or handcuffs and see how they respond, If they have a positive response, move on to something more intense like candles and floggers, and continuously build up to where you want to be if they are enjoying it as much as you are.
What if you just aren't satisfied as a whole? You aren't enjoying sex with them and it's all just lost its spark?
This is a tricky one that really depends on the situation. Sometimes when things aren't heating up in the bedroom, it's not because the sex is bad, it's because the relationship's spark has died out and you just aren't interested anymore. When this happens it's time to either break out the marriage counselor, take a serious look at the relationships inner workings, or move on.
Sometimes there is just nothing to be done to fix it. A rocky relationship isn't always the case, though. Sometimes it's a personal reason like low T or menopause. If you still love and are happy in the relationship, but aren't enjoying sexy time anymore, talk to your partner about it, though, don't act like it's their fault. Talk about getting a doctor's check up or what you guys can do to bring out that orgasm. It's no ones fault that you have lost interest sexually--make sure your partner knows that. Once you let them know what's going on, you can work together to get it sorted out.
Sex is a main component in most relationships, and when the sex isn't good then that can effect the relationship as a whole. So it's important to communicate with your partner about what's going on with your body and what you want. You can't get better if you don't start working on it together.
