Statistics show that the average couple has sex two times a week, so by the time you celebrate your tenth anniversary, you would have had sex over fifteen hundred times. Or, on a worse but more common note, the sex in your relationship has slowed because it has become mundane. Whatever the case may be, sex is an important part of every healthy relationship, and BDSM can help introduce a much needed boost to your sex life.


What is BDSM?


BDSM, which stands for bondage, domination, sadism and masochism, refers to the various erotic and roleplaying ways in which a couple or persons can engage in sexual play and activities. For many couples, trying out BDSM can add a touch of spice and flavor into their sex life and rekindle that desire for each other that had been forgotten about.


Getting Started - Roles and Rules


Unlike regular sex, where the experience is power neutral, a big part of BDSM are the unequal roles of sub and dominant. This means that consent and communication from both partners in the relationship is extremely important if you want to get it right. If you decide to delve into BDSM, you and your partner will decide who will be the dominant and who will be the submissive. Knowing what your role is and how you should conduct yourself not only makes BDSM safe, but it opens up the amazing foreplay experience your relationship needs.


Once you have established which roles each person is comfortable performing, it is best for you and your partner to outline rules of play. This will make sure that each person is comfortable during BDSM and understands all boundaries. Trust is essential in any BDSM relationship, so the following is often recommended:


  • Having safe words in case things become too intense.

  • Ensuring that you never apply too much force to your partner’s sensitive areas, like their eyes and kidneys.

  • Ensuring that you never leave your restrained partner alone.

  • Always ensuring that you take precaution in case your submissive partner trips or falls.

  • Releasing the restraints on your partner if they start feeling numb or tingly.


Get Started With These Toys


While BDSM may seem confusing at first, Lovedreamer recommends three safe and beginner friendly ways to start:


  1. Gags: Gags are a safe and easy way to get into role playing the submissive and dominant roles of BDSM.

  2. Restraint: Use ropes, tape, or silk ties to tie your partner before having foreplay and during play.

  3. Sensations: Play with ticklers, paddles, clamps or get creative with things around the house, like ice cubes or clothespins.


Or, get started the easy way with one of our kits, like this Fetish Fantasy Ultimate Bondage Kit.

Sex is a necessity for every couple since it not only satisfies you sexually but it also creates a bond between you and your partners. As you become more experienced with BDSM, you will find that it not only enhances your sex life, but builds trust, love and connection with your partner.